THUD

I didn’t have time to stop or swerve or even react. I just killed two birds. I just killed two birds.I keep thinking about them. I hear them colliding with my car and dropping underneath. The sound of tossing two full apples into an empty trash can; hollow thuds.

Photo by hiva sharifi on Unsplash

The birds flew into the road, in front of my car. On the highway. It happened in less than a second. I didn’t have time to react.

They hit my car. Or I hit them. Or they hit me. Or…

No matter what, two birds are gone and three of us were in motion and thud. Thud.

At the speed I was going, I tell myself, they didn’t suffer. But the way my mind works, I also recap two happy birds, gossiping—out for a fly. They weren’t paying attention. I was. Hands 10 and 2. But I feel responsible.

They hit my car. Or I hit them. Or they hit me. Or…

I keep thinking about them. I didn’t have time to react. 

This morning, while driving, I thought about those two birds. I turned off the car radio and all the recent words flew at me. Articles, tweets, FB live trips to the border. Visions of a green jacket with white painted words and of kids waiting. Waiting without knowing. Without parents. 

Brave Tutu is not about to “get political” y’all. I focus on the small because grasping the global is not one of my gifts. I struggle to speak to the wider issues and I certainly won’t on this blog. But this morning, in a moment, I thought about those two birds. About how I didn’t have time to react. I hear their thuds and I keep thinking, they were only birds. Unassuming. Gentle. Wings wide-opened. Birds. And these ARE kids and we have time to react. Their innocence takes up space in my chest like an un-chewed apple. 

As I try to digest it, I know there is effort set in motion. Including, a campaign with REFORMA to get new books to these children. But as I drive my car, I still feel a bit white-knuckled on the steering wheel. Hearing the thud. Feeling responsible.

Remember,

Your Brave Tutu (You’re brave, too-too!)

-Take courage in delight. Discover power in small moments.