THUD

I didn’t have time to stop or swerve or even react. I just killed two birds. I just killed two birds.I keep thinking about them. I hear them colliding with my car and dropping underneath. The sound of tossing two full apples into an empty trash can; hollow thuds.

 Photo by  hiva sharifi  on  Unsplash

Photo by hiva sharifi on Unsplash

The birds flew into the road, in front of my car. On the highway. It happened in less than a second. I didn’t have time to react.

They hit my car. Or I hit them. Or they hit me. Or…

No matter what, two birds are gone and three of us were in motion and thud. Thud.

At the speed I was going, I tell myself, they didn’t suffer. But the way my mind works, I also recap two happy birds, gossiping—out for a fly. They weren’t paying attention. I was. Hands 10 and 2. But I feel responsible.

They hit my car. Or I hit them. Or they hit me. Or…

I keep thinking about them. I didn’t have time to react. 

This morning, while driving, I thought about those two birds. I turned off the car radio and all the recent words flew at me. Articles, tweets, FB live trips to the border. Visions of a green jacket with white painted words and of kids waiting. Waiting without knowing. Without parents. 

Brave Tutu is not about to “get political” y’all. I focus on the small because grasping the global is not one of my gifts. I struggle to speak to the wider issues and I certainly won’t on this blog. But this morning, in a moment, I thought about those two birds. About how I didn’t have time to react. I hear their thuds and I keep thinking, they were only birds. Unassuming. Gentle. Wings wide-opened. Birds. And these ARE kids and we have time to react. Their innocence takes up space in my chest like an un-chewed apple. 

As I try to digest it, I know there is effort set in motion. Including, a campaign with REFORMA to get new books to these children. But as I drive my car, I still feel a bit white-knuckled on the steering wheel. Hearing the thud. Feeling responsible.

Remember,

Your Brave Tutu (You’re brave, too-too!)

-Take courage in delight. Discover power in small moments.