Direction Doubt

Last month, I had an out-of-town wedding with a warned “detour” I knew Siri’s map couldn’t handle. So I pushed the distance button, ate Skittles and kept my eyes peeled for a “Mueller Supply Co” marker at mile 16. I hit 15.5 miles and started to worry: the only things that Texas road supplied were curves and budding wildflowers. I hit mile 17 and knew—I needed to turn back. However, there wasn’t a safe turn-around; I had to keep going. Over the next hill, I found my landmark and made the correct turn. The directions were off but the course was sound. Had I panicked and flipped a U, I never would have made it to the wedding on time.

 Thank you for this photo, Jessica Knits.

Thank you for this photo, Jessica Knits.

This scenario isn’t new. In fact, pre-Siri, I’d often talk to myself: “Rebekah, you were day-dreaming. It’s been too long. You missed something important. Turn around.” Sometimes, this QUEST-ioning is not just on trips. The difficulty lies in these self-imposed “shoulds” that come out of nowhere. I wonder if anyone can relate. Have you ever been on a path, cruising along, enjoying yourself, and POW: there is a Facebook post or a possible “should” that pulls thoughts from life-enjoyment to—I must have missed SOMETHING? For a second, I hear them and forget my Rebekah-road is full of wildflowers, wonder, fresh air and the beyond.

The difficulty lies in these self-imposed “shoulds” that come out of nowhere.
 Thank you for this photo, Heather Stoken.

Thank you for this photo, Heather Stoken.

Like I discovered last weekend, I know there is no safe and possible turn around-to life. After each hill, I gain affirmation-traction. I regain speed and note how hesitation and doubt distract my momentum.

Do others wonder if their route needs recalculating only to remember their affinity for the road? This journey can include dream pursuit, that book you wanted to finish, the blog you’ve started that no one reads—yet—that degree that takes just a bit longer than originally thought. I’d love to hear your examples.

Of course, I’m not encouraging people to stay on rocky, unhealthy roads. However, I know I’m going to face forward and forgo the “what if?” or “did I miss?” I refuse to sacrifice the beautiful scenery ahead. Instead, in Brave Tutu truth, I claim power in this very moment.

Sincerely,

Your Brave Tutu (You’re brave, too-too!)

 Thank you for this photo, Heather Stoken.

Thank you for this photo, Heather Stoken.